Emotional Eating

Last night I was on duty, and because Thursday nights are big party nights (who knows why...) I had building rounds until 1 am. Well, I wake up at 4:30 for student teaching. I'm stressed and I'm tired. Not happy. I was super cranky today. To make up for it, I ate. Way. Too. Much. I won't say what exactly I ate in case it bothers someone, just take my word for it that I'm not just freaking out over nothing. I really over ate. I feel awful. I don't want to exercise, which I suppose is a good thing because I would only be exercising to get rid of the calories. But I feel terrible for leaving this nasty stuff in my body. I want to skip dinner to "make up" for it. I hate when I do things like this. I thought I was above this. When will I get this right?

Biggest Loser Part 2

So I know my last post wasn't titled "Biggest Loser Part 1" but I felt the need to write about it again. I watch the shows online, and I happened to have some extra time today to catch up on the most recent show (at least the most recent that is posted online). I wanted to write about the show again because I think it did something really incredible last week. The show took its contestants to Washington D.C. The host begins the show talking about the obesity epidemic. She tells the contestants that they are lucky to have an opportunity to be on this show. There are so many more people out there who do not have a free gym, free trainers, free clothes, free food, and a free place to stay. The contestants on this show are given a lot of breaks in terms of jump-starting their healthier lives.

The first challenge: The contestants had to (individually) gather as many supporters as they could from the D.C. streets to join in a public workout led by Bob and Jillian (the trainers for the show). The workout was held in front of the Washington Monument. It was awesome. Each contestant had a HUGE crowd join them for this workout. One contestant is a fireman and he had at least 20 local firemen come help him out. Seeing all these supporters not only come out, but actually do the public workout as well...it was awesome =)

Later in the week, the contestants, Bob, and Jillian, had a meeting with two senators. The senators asked them to share their stories. One in particular choked me up. Rebecca said she was over 200 lbs at age 14. She knew she wanted to change, but she didn't know how. For some time, she just ran and starved herself. When that didn't work, she returned to food. Her story is a little similar to mine. I wanted to lose weight but didn't really know how. So I just ate less. That worked out fine. I wasn't eating too little. Not yet, anyway. Two years after I started losing weight, my self esteem plummeted and I was severely restricting and over exercising. After therapy, I stopped restricting and over exercising, but food became my comfort. I gained my weight back far too quickly and I grew more depressed. Since then, I have rid myself of most of the depression, but I cannot seem to get away from emotional eating/restricting cycle. While some people think the Biggest Loser is only trying to bring in profit, I think they really intend to do much more. It is so important that those who take care of our country understand what Americans are dealing with. An anorexic person is more than just vain. An overweight person is more than just an over eater. There's so much more to both stories, and it is so important for the leaders of our country to understand that.

Ok that's the last of Biggest Loser, at least for this week ;) It's just such an inspirational show for me. It gets me thinking about the real reasons for my ED frustrations. I'm looking for the answers inside of myself.

A nice weekend =)

The Georgia Mountains!!! Raven Cliff

Look, this New Orleans girl knows how to

dress for the cold weather!

I had a pretty refreshing weekend. I went on an over-night backpacking trip this weekend and it was wonderful. We went to Raven Cliff Falls (near Helen, GA if anyone knows the area). I've never been in the Georgia mountains before. I absolutely loved it! Nature (specifically the mountains) just completely renews me. It reminds me that life can be as simple as campfires and warm sleeping bags. Whenever I arrive home from camping trips, I have a new outlook on my obstacles. It's like a retreat. It's just....I actually can't quite explain it the way I want to, but I simply love it.

Today when I got back, I wasn't quite ready to dive into homework. I watched the most recent episode of The Biggest Loser. Let me start off by saying that I originally despised this show. I thought it was awful. The weight loss was sustainable. It's unhealthy and unrealistic. Well, I thought all of these things before I actually had the chance to watch the show. I've watched every episode this season. And, I've changed my mind about it completely. The people they choose as contestants are so overweight that their only options are surgery or death. That sounds blunt and harsh, but it really is true. This show is really a life-saver. It's so much more than a weight loss competition. I've learned about all of their stories....I cry during EVERY show. One woman lost her husband and children in a car wreck a few miles from her house. The other drive was going over 100 mph. She was eliminated this week (halfway through season). The show had a clip about what she's doing today. She says the show gave her life back. She gives talks around the country about how you can turn your life around after tragic events. Not everyone has such a powerful story, but I like how the show gets into these contestants' souls to find out the cause of weight gain. No one becomes morbidly obese simply because they like food. It might seem like trashy reality TV, but to me it's inspiring. It helps break stereotypes. When you see that large person in Walmart in in a buffet line, think twice before judging them. You know nothing about them or their journey. It's just my take on the show. I just thought I would share it because I was initially so passionately against it. Now I want to go back and watch all the seasons! What an efficient use of time, right? Does anyone else watch it?

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Tired.

I have some time to kill before my next class. I'm too tired to read and it wouldn't be acceptable to fall asleep at the computer in the library, so I will blog.
These early mornings got really old really fast. 4:30 is just ridiculous. I had a history paper due today which I finished around 1:30 this morning. That's a great time to finish a paper...if I were a normal college student. If I were a normal college student, my earliest class would be at 9 or 10 and I would get almost a full night of sleep. I only got 3 hours of sleep last night because I was placed to teach in a school three counties away. All of us in the middle school program (about 60 juniors and 50 seniors) look absolutely exhausted. We cannot stay awake in our content classes. By 5pm I look like a zombie. I'm sure I talk about this way too much, but it's so prevalent to the issues I'm dealing with. I'm so completely dead by the end of the day that all I want to eat is comfort food. Things don't taste the same. I only have time to exercise on the weekends. I've managed to throw in a short stretching routine in the mornings, but I don't really have time to just breathe and relax. Things are going a million miles an hour and I feel like everyday I'm narrowly escaping some sort of disaster. Well disaster is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. I'm just going to keep my eye on the weekends. This weekend I have a backpacking trip, and the next weekend my best friend is coming down from Vanderbilt to visit. The weekend after that, I'll be closing the building and making the long drive home for Thanksgiving holiday. Isn't that crazy?! Time is flying by. October hardly existed in my mind, and the first week of November is almost over. Crazy. Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope my talking about the same thing over and over doesn't grow to be too boring. I hope everyone has a nice weekend!

Efficiency

So in the spirit of being completely bombarded with college, teaching, residents, and other people's problems, I decided to be a bit more efficient in the way I do things. I managed to find 3 extra hours every Wednesday afternoon. How did I do this? Class. I have this worthless class, Middle School Literature. It's great that I'm reading the books that I'll be teaching. I should read what I expect my students to read. The actually 3 hour class period, however, is completely worthless. I don't need a class to analyze a middle school book. I had the class today....and instead of listening to my teaching growl on and on for 3 hours, I decided to get some work done. I finished a crossword puzzle. I wrote my lesson for Friday. On Friday, my UGA student teaching supervisor is coming to observe me teach, so I want my lesson to be perfect. During class, I had time to come up with the ideas, make lists of everything I needed, and write out the whole specific lesson plan with the Georgia Performance Standards, warm-up, hook, instructional strategies, closure, modification, etc...all that stuff that you don't have to do once you're a real teacher. Now I won't have to worry about it tomorrow night. By not paying any attention in class, I was able to lift a huge weight off my shoulders. (I'm teaching about object pronouns, by the way. I have to have an exciting lesson because grammar is so boring.)
This teacher doesn't notice when we aren't paying attention. She really likes to hear herself talk. One of the students will try to contribute, and she'll just start talking over them because what she has to say is so much more important....it's sad. So if we're not important, then I will be doing work for other classes where my effort and contribution is appreciated. And now I have 3 more hours to do so =)

This weekend I'm going to Raven Cliff Falls (near Helen, GA, and I really have no idea where that is) for a backpacking trip. I will bring my camera and take lots of pictures of the Fall leaves. I'll have plenty to share at the beginning of next week! I hope everyone's week ends well!

An attempt at pictures...

Well the stress took no time at all to come back to me today, but I think I've got it under control. I planned on going for a run in the Botanical Gardens today, but after class I opted for a nap instead. Because I was on duty last night, I slept for only about 4-4 1/2 hours. I decided a nap would probably do just as much good as a run. And, I would be able to get more work done tonight. As you can tell, I'm working really hard right now ;)

Anyways, last night during my dinner break I went to Kroger and picked up some goodies. This is my first ever jar of almond butter! I always get the fresh ground stuff at Whole Foods, but I wanted an entire jar so I picked up this....

(Sorry I'm not so good at the picture-taking!) It tasted really different from the fresh ground stuff, but I still absolutely loved it! I had several forkfuls. Yes, forkfulls. Being a college student without a sink in her room, I haven't done dishes in quite some time. I had no spoons left =)

So this is my new favorite food item =)
For dinner I picked up a frozen Kashi dinner.....

Yum?

This is what it was supposed to look like

Honestly it tasted great! But frozen dinners never look too appealing. There were plantains, kale, sweet potatoes, and some other things I can't recall. It was great!


Onto this morning! (Sorry but I don't have much to talk about other than food!)

Again, apologies for the sad picture....

First I microwaved cut-up apples with cinnamon and splenda...then I microwaved those and a sliced banana in a cup of oatmeal. It was delicious!

That's about all I have today...nothing too exciting. My nap was great =) Now I've got to do some real work. Hope everyone had a happy Monday!

Nature fix

Today is my last day of freedom. I had a nice, quiet three day weekend. No residents, no students, no resident assistants. Just me and an empty building. I had a lot to do this weekend, but I only accomplished about half of what I planned to accomplish. I decided that's okay. Being sane is just as important! I went to the Botanical Gardens today. It's a 300+ acre park with lots of trails to explore! I walk/jogged the trail that goes around the whole facility. The fall colors are beautiful!!! About a mile and a half of the trail goes right along a river. It's so nice. I'm going back again tomorrow. I can't believe I've waited this long to experience the gardens. They're only three miles up the road! So I got in my nature fix. I might be up a little later tonight trying to finish everything, but that's okay because I'll be doing it with a smile on my face! I hope everyone has a great week!

Breather!

This is my first break from life that I've had since...well I can't quite remember. This weekend is Fall break for UGA. I'm on duty, which means I'm stuck in the dorm all weekend. It's going to be great! All the residents left for home or the UGA/FL game ...it's a really huge deal...like really really really big deal, which is why I chose to stay away from that mess and hold down the fort here in Athens. It's so QUIET. It really is beautiful. Life has been hectic, and I really need this break.
Student-teaching is a little more than halfway over, THANK GOD. I love my students and my mentor teacher. And I love the experience I'm getting...but it's exhausting. I'm at this school 17.5 hours a week, and that doesn't include the 1 1/2 hours of transportation everyday. I'm only getting 3 hours of credit for this experience....and it's a pass/fail grade! I can't even get the A I deserve. Grrrrr. I have 15 hours of class in addition to the student teaching. Then when I'm finished with all of my academics, I have residents. Some of my residents tell me their life stories...every day! It puts a lot of weight on me. I do want to know about their lives...and I do want them to feel comfortable talking to me. But some of these conversations are taking large chunks of time (or sleep!) out of my day. I just need to get better at balancing.

I have ZERO time to exercise. I need to learn better time management. I just have so much stuff shoved into one day. And waking up at 4:30 means I'm exhausted before lunch! There's so much caffeine in my body that it completely freaks out on the weekends when I don't drink any. On the weekends I sleep over 24 hours. 12+ hours Friday night, and 12+ hours Saturday night. I haven't slept this much since I was on a gymnastics team...in HIGH SCHOOL.

I need to make some adjustments. I don't want you to think I'm being negative. I really do love everything I'm doing. It's just so much... This weekend I'm working on myself and how I can make it through the rest of the semester.

Thanks for still reading! I really really really appreciate it!

Negligence!

I know I haven't written in well over a week =(

I tend to let my blogging slip when I get really busy or when I'm not making good decisions. Well, this week involves both. I Have Been So Busy. So very busy. On Monday-Friday, I wake up between 4:30 and 4:45 so I can get dressed and head to my school that is very far away. I teach 4th graders for a few hours, then make the long drive back to campus. Then I change into comfortable clothes as fast as I possibly can, run to the dining hall to shovel lunch down my throat, and run to classes which last all day. I have been so so so tired. I have to get to bed at 8:30 if I want a full night sleep, but I just don't have time for that. I have residents to keep up with. Class. Honors projects. A Life! It's hard. I love it, I love teaching, but it's hard.
There is literally zero time for exercise. I thought I was busy before, but now I really have no time at all, and it's killing me. I know I shouldn't be letting it get to me, but exercise is fun. I really do enjoy it. Even if I'm sitting on a stationary bike going super slow and reading a book, I still enjoy it. Now I just never have time and it's sad. Because I'm so busy and stressed, I look for comfort foods. Cereal (which doesn't sound bad, but I eat A LOT OF CEREAL. Really.), desserts, casseroles...things where the calories add up quickly. I honestly do not believe this is a matter of ED thoughts. I'm really not eating well. I don't know how to stay clear of this dangerous track I'm on. I know that I will do something stupid if I continue to make bad decisions. I need some way to monitor myself that will also steer clear of dangerous ED activity.

Anyway, that's where I've been. I'm sorry that I haven't been commenting. I'll do my best to get back into it. I really enjoy blogging and catching up with everyone. I hope I can work it into my schedule. I hope everyone has a great weekend! Mine didn't start out so great...LSU beat Georgia =( O well.